Spike's Boy's


""indicate twinspeak""

A perfect lazy Saturday, nothing planned-no chores that couldn't be put off until tomorrow. Judging by the light that spilled intermittently through the softly billowing curtains it was a going to be a beautiful day. Xander stretched and smiled-no sign, yet, of the predicted heat wave. He considered whether to get up and veg in front of the TV a while before deciding if he should get dressed today or just going back to sleep here. So many choices. Rolling over, he spooned against the warm sleeping body next to him and buried his face in thick hair, which smelled of baby shampoo. Hugging tight, he sighed and crooked his foot between the long legs of his bedmate. Except... Anya was gone. She left right after Buffy had managed to stop Glory. Who?

""Aaargh!!!"" Xanders cried and rolled off the sides of the bed. Both sides -multiple Xanders.

""It's YOU!"" Xanders said with twin looks of panic, met by identical deep brown eyes.

As always, Suave-Xander recovered first. He stood, circled the bed and extended a hand to Sweet-Xander who was still trembling on the floor. Sweet-Xander looked up through long, dark lashes, pouting slightly, but tentatively took his doppelganger's hand.

"What...Why....I....You..." Sweet-Xander gave up in exasperation and hung his head.

"It's all right." Suave-Xander said and hugged his double close. He thought of how many times since Anya had left him-them, when he would have given anything to hold someone or be held, and to hear those words. Willow and Buffy were great friends, but their own lives were complicated and sometimes the whole gender issue reared its ugly head at awkward times. For instance, the whole 'do you want to talk about it' thing. No. He didn't want to talk. He just didn't want to be so damned alone.

Sweet-Xander's stomach sent up a warning growl that an offering should be made soon, interrupting Suave-Xander's introspection. Sweet-Xander shyly broke the embrace, his fingers lingering on Suave-Xander's muscular forearm. "We should probably get something to eat," he whispered, meeting his doubles level gaze.

"I like the way you think." Suave-Xander kept an arm loosely around Sweet-Xander's shoulder and steered him toward the kitchen. They assembled a huge breakfast consisting of an entire box of toaster waffles with brown andserve sausages, finishing off the eggs and the orange juice. They ate in a comfortable silence. As they sat afterward amid the decimation of the breakfast table, Sweet-Xander said, "What I don't get is the clothes..."

"...right, what's with that?" Suave-Xander agreed before his double finished his thought. Their eyes met and they burst out laughing. They each wore the same thin, cut off drawstring shorts, with the same tear up the left outside seam which often let out the bits that were supposed to stay in.

Before either could ask what they should do, they said. ""Giles.""

"Let's shower first." Suave-Xander said then refrained from laughing at Sweet-Xander's the wild-eyed look of panic. "You go first, I'll clean up the kitchen."

Three hours later the Xanders strolled the streets of Sunnydale, enjoying the day and meandering toward the Magic Box. They had decided that it would be easier to just show up, in the 'one picture is worth a thousand words' sense. Both wore cut-offs. Sweet-Xander wore the loose ones that had been in the outgoing laundry basket paired with a baggy, short-sleeved, bright orange and yellow striped shirt; Suave-Xander wore an old pair from high school. They were tight but not binding and, well, he had lost the coin toss. He had paired them with a black tank top Cordy had given him that he found in the same box. Sweet-Xander was wearing sunglasses with red lenses and silver frames. He stopped at a sidewalk display and handed Suave-Xander a pair of classic cheap-black-plastic shades. After watching his double slap his pockets and come up empty Suave-Xander said, "I got it." He pulled out 'their' wallet and asked, "You want anything?" Sweet-Xander handed him a yo-yo and bounced on the balls of his feet like a kid while he waited at the cash register. Suave-Xander put on the shades and fondly watched his other half gleefully play with their new toy.

They were laughing out loud at the babble that usually stayed internal, but that now flowed stream-of-consciousness style. It was like meeting someone new, who you felt as if you had known all your life. Obviously. It was so comfortable finishing each other's sentences. The last time they had been split it had been frightening and most of their time had been spent either in ignorance, as had been in Suave-Xander's case, or in terror as in Sweet-Xander's. For as alike as they were they were noticing subtle differences. Sweet-Xander's attention was even shorter than when they were one person, and so was Suave-Xander's temper. Sweet-Xander was a bundle of emotions and could swing from tearfully sad to bouncingly happy in the space of moments.

They had discovered this the hard way when trying to work around the apartment together. Suave-Xander had snapped out with reflexive sarcasm and Sweet-Xander's eyes had brimmed with tears. He had stumbled over an apology, stuttering like Xander had in grade school. Suave-Xander was instantly contrite and had pulled his double into his lap, stroking his hair and murmuring words of endearment and apology. What had surprise him most, besides his own impatience with his double, was that Sweet-Xander had let him hold him. Sweet-Xander had jutted out his bottom lip and Suave-Xander had come uncomfortably close to kissing him.

The last time this had happened, Xander had been glad they had reintegrated, especially before Anya had talked him into anything. He wasn't completely inexperienced with the concept-his summer of travel after graduation had let him do more than one kind of exploring-but the thought of sharing Anya with himself had been confusing and, well, uncomfortably arousing. Maybe what had bothered him was that he thought he should be disturbed by the thought; after all, it was like incest, right?

Now he was beginning to wonder what he had missed. They weren't really brothers, although they were both enjoying the amount of attention they were drawing as a good-looking set of 'twins'. Funny how they both had admitted, standing in front of the mirror while they got dressed, that yes, they were very attractive men. It was a long road from the skinny geek in high school to the hottie currently bounding around him. That thought was certainly a change of tune from just last week when he had stood alone in front of the same mirror sighing over his lack of companionship.

Passing on that threesome had forestalled the sexual encounter of the Hellmouth variety that only magical cloning could offer, but the quick reintegration had also made him miss out on this. Just hanging out and getting to know himself -okay that sounded weird, but that was what kept them at the apartment for the extra hours. That and Suave-Xander suggesting that this was the perfect opportunity finish up the things they needed an extra set of hands for, like mounting that shelf and hanging drapes. They came through the door of the magic shop into the cooler, dimmer interior. Tara was working the counter; since Giles had not hired anyone to replace Anya full time she and Willow worked a couple hours each week. Grinning at the look on Tara's face they walked to the counter and said, ""Guess what happened to us?""

She was still gaping when the bell announced the arrival of Buffy and Dawn. "Hey Xander, Tara." Buffy said absently as she headed toward the training room. "And Xander."

"Xander!" Dawn squealed like a fifteen-year-old spotting a member of 98 Degrees.

"Xander! And Xander!" Buffy turned back and gaped along with Tara.

Dawn was not nearly so dumbstruck. "Oh my God! This is so cool! I usually miss all the good Hellmouthy stuff!" She bounced around the two Xanders like a terrier, squeezing their biceps, taking off their sunglasses and standing back. "Have you shown Willow? Eeeee! I wanna be there. Oh, is this her fault?"

"No!" Tara said to Dawn. Finally she managed to talk to Xander. "She wouldn't...she didn't... What happened?"

""Don't know."" They exchanged a look and a nod then Suave-Xander continued, "We just woke up this way."

"So where's G-Man?" Sweet-Xander asked craning his neck to see if he could see the Watcher in the loft.

"He... he's out of town for the weekend." Tara bit her lip. "He should be back Monday."

"Where's Willow?" Buffy said coming out of her stupor. "She can fix this."


"That is...we just wanted to know...we could wait for Giles.. It'll give us time to hang out...rent some flicks...you know, guy stuff." Sweet-Xander bounced and babbled, tugging on his dark locks.

"Not that we don't trust Will." Suave-Xander added, looking first at Tara then at Buffy. "We just want Giles' opinion."

"Willow should be here soon; she was tutoring in the computer lab." Tara said to Buffy, ignoring both Xanders.

"I think it's great. Is it great? Is it like suddenly having a twin? If you guys have been like this all day, what have you been doing?" Dawn tugged both Xanders into the back and sat on the floor.

"I think our day starts later than yours." Suave-Xander smiled down at the girl who was like a little sister to him.

"Yeah." Sweet-Xander agreed joining Dawn on the floor. "But it is cool. We finish each other's sentences and he knew exactly what I needed handed to me while we were working around our place earlier."

"You guys want anything to drink?" Suave-Xander asked. They both nodded and he headed to Giles' office and the sodas he kept for them in his tiny refrigerator. He heard Buffy on the phone to either Willow or Giles, explaining the situation-what they knew of it. Suave-Xander remembered that Willow had said being together was their natural state and it took magic to keep them apart.

Almost as soon as Suave-Xander had left the practice room a smoking blonde cyclone had bolted through the back door. This time the vampire's smoke wasn't from cigarettes but from almost immolating himself in the late - afternoon sun. Spike pulled his duster down off his head and assumed a nonchalant pose. Seeing it was only the whelp and the nibblet who had witnessed his less than casual entrance he scowled and said, "Right. What are you looking at?"

"Dead man frying?" Sweet-Xander teased. He was instantly regretful as those piercing, intelligent, blue eyes turned on him and he knew, just knew that he was an unarmed man in any battle of the wits with Spike, especially without Suave-Xander.

"What's this, pup? Demon bint dumps you and you take up following the nibblet around? Cor! Slayer know about this?" Spike circled them while he taunted them and stopped to lean against the frame of the door to the rest of the shop to add, "Maybe you oughta give up birds altogether, whelp. Considering some of the tales 'o terror I heard about you, blokes might be the best bet for you."

"Might wanna try your own advice." The sexy whisper in the vampire's ear would have sent goose flesh racing in its wake had he had a pulse. Spike turned to see Xander. Not the everyday eye-blinding boy in clown attire, but a lean, sensuous creature showing a good bit of hard, tanned body. "Your track record isn't so impressive either, Fangless."

Spike did a double take, then a triple. He spun around and stalked around the two of them. Suave-Xander set down the cans of soda, crossed to Sweet-Xander and gave him a hand up. They both turned, keeping an eye on the predator. Suave-Xander smirked; enjoying Spike's barely concealed discomfort. Sweet-Xander bit his lip and watched warily from under his lashes.

Dawn broke the tableau by jumping to her feet and saying, "Isn't it great? Don't they look great? I missed it last time! I'm so happy I got to see it this time."

Buffy came into the practice room. "Giles said do nothing until he returns. He doesn't even want us to research. I think he's afraid it will give Will ideas."

Tara came in and said , "I closed the shop. I promised Mr. Giles I would close well before sunset while he's out of town." She walked over to the Xanders and said, "I talked to Willow, she's blaming herself. Would you, both of you, talk to her? She's coming over. Can you stay?"

"We'll all stay, we can order dinner." Dawn said. Buffy looked like she was going to veto the suggestion but relented. It had been a while since they had spent some quiet time with the gang. Besides, it had also been a while since Dawn's Xander-crush had been so evident; she could store up mega teasing material.

"Red do a spell on you?" Spike asked the familiar-looking Xander, who seemed to lack his usual bravado and appeared almost shy around the vampire. "Yeah, to put us together last time we got split. It worked...it just... unworked." The boy bit his full bottom lip and eyed his double.

"Magic." The smooth new Xander added with a languid shrug, "Who knows what affects it? Could be the moon or someone in Illinois may have sneezed. I'm sure this isn't Will's fault." His smile seemed to reassure Tara that Willow's welcome would be warm.

Spike was riveted by this new creature. Not wanting the girls to notice, he turned his attention to the Xander standing next to him. The boy shifted nervously from side to side and watched, as everyone in the room's attention was on the other him. Pivoting silently Spike suddenly stood behind the fidgeting boy and taunted, "You finally get them to see you and it's not you." He was surprised to see Xander flinch so visibly; the boy normally would cover a direct hit with a flippant remark. Xander turned his head away and Spike could have sworn he saw tears forming. "Pet?" The boy cautiously looked back, his eyes bright and his lower lip jutting forward. "Sorry luv, I'm a bad, wicked man. I was just havin' fun. I see you Xander." His voice was soft and soothing but the vampire was flabbergasted. He understood finding the new version of Xander alluring, the swagger, the decisiveness, the tight shorts. But he had apologized, him, the Big Bad. He hadn't apologized to anyone but Dru since he had died.

The new Xander saw the boy too and broke away from the girls, who were trying decide what to order for dinner. He glared at Spike when the vampire refused to back away from Sweet-Xander. "Hungry, little brother?" Suave-Xander returned the warm smile those words got him. He remembered that they had always wanted a big brother. This felt better than Dawn, who he had to share with Buffy. Sweet-Xander was his.

Willow came just as the food arrived. After being double-teamed by her best friend, and after Sweet-Xander pointed that the food was getting cold so she had better forgive herself, she decided to enjoy the time with both of them and promised to wait for Giles' return before attempting to fix anything. Spike caught the one he thought of as his Xander glancing his way quite frequently that evening and even returned his shy smile. He didn't think anyone had noticed their flirting and resolve to speak with the boy alone, without his uncanny double.

Buffy, in a practical moment, had brought the conversation around to the matter of what to call them. ""Xander."" they said.

"You can't both be Xander."

"But we are." Suave-Xander said

"Lots of people have the same name, Buff." Sweet-Xander added.

"It's too confusing." She declared.

"It's our name." Suave-Xander countered with a hint of steel resolve in his voice. Sweet-Xander bit his lip, just knowing he was going to get dubbed with the new name, or worse, called Xander, because hey, goofy Xander, and Suave-Xander would get the new name because 'Xander' was as far from suave as Spike was from virtuous.

"How about Alex?" Buffy suggested.

""No!"" Willow and Spike had joined in on the group 'no'. Willow because she knew it had parental connotations and Spike because, well, neither one was an Alex. Spike watched them argue over Alec and Al, Alexander and, of all names, LaVelle. Spike was getting frustrated. The boy was sticking close to his twin trying to defend his name and the vampire hadn't managed a moment alone with the dark-eyed beauty. He was grinding his teeth when Xander looked up at him pleading for a voice of reason.

Spike said, "Bloody hell, Slayer. What is he, a pet? Your minion? You didn't just find him in the street. Let the boy keep his soddin' name. Between them they're the only two in the world who would choose to shorten a perfectly good name into 'Xander' anyway."

Whether it was Spike's outburst or Suave-Xander's aggressive refusal to have either of them renamed, Buffy finally backed down. Spike watched the new version dividing his attention between Buffy and Dawn. Red and her honey were whispering softly in the corner and for a moment he had his Xander's attention without the others looming about. He was surprise when he turned to speak to find two sad eyes regarding him gravely. "You don't like my name?" The boy looked up at him. That in itself was a rarity, the blighter was so tall. Spike sat on the table and Xander still sat on a chair, hence the looking up.

"Course I like your name, got you to keep it didn't I?" Spike leaned down and whispered. Oh, what a lovely confusion of emotions flitted across the boys expressive face-surprise, suspicion wonder and wait, was that respect?

His scrutiny of the new Xander told him this sharp-eyed man hadn't missed his flirting with the boy. Oddly enough, that Xander seemed suspicious but not angry about Spike's attention to his double. The witches were taking Dawn home and going to stay with her while Buffy patrolled. Buffy vetoed the Xanders coming with her, explaining it was too dangerous in the state they were in. That statement had earned her equally baffled looks from the twins, but they didn't argue.

Spike was getting tired of being refused every time he offered to patrol with Buffy so just said, "I'll see that the whelps make it home in one piece, Slayer, don't you worry."

While Xander was securing the store and setting the alarm, Spike shadowed his Xander out onto the sidewalk. Like most of Sunnydale, this block was deserted after dark. There was no one to see him maneuver the boy back against a parking meter. No one to see him close in and take a firm grip on Xander's hips. He was perhaps an inch away from the boy's lips when he said in a singsong, "I know what you're thinking."

Thanks to his undead vision Spike was treated to Xander blushing like a schoolgirl and once again lowering those long lashes over his big brown eyes. He closed the distance between their lips with a gentle, biting kiss. Nibbling along the lower lip that had been enticing him all night, Spike felt the boy hard and ready through the voluminous fabric of his shorts. He ran his hand down over that bulge and was rewarded by an open-mouthed moan, which his tongue was obliged to take advantage of. They had been groping each other for an immeasurable amount of time when Spike became aware of the tall, silent man watching them. Xander. The other Xander stood leaning against the front of the shop, smiling. Spike waited for him to protest or ridicule. Instead the man said, "As decorative as the two of you look all lusty and debauched, this isn't safe. Let's take this back to our place."

"You serious?" Spike looked from the smirking man to the shyly smiling boy.

"Sure." Xander said. Can you stay tomorrow too?"

"Tomorrow?" Spike asked

""Giles won't be back until Monday.""

* * * * *

Later that night, after they had relinquished custody of their charge to her big sister, two girls were pointedly not talking about the Xanders. In a dorm room littered with spell books, Tara sat on the edge of their bed brushing her hair and watching Willow search through the crowded drawers of the dresser. After she started on the top drawer for the third time Tara said, "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Willow put her back to the dresser and nervously crossed and uncrossed her arms in front of her.

"Tell me about what's got you so upset." She patted the spot beside her on the bed.

Willow started pacing and said, "It was an accident."

"Willow! You told me you didn't... you lied. To me, to everyone." Tara stood openmouthed.

"I didn't... I... Xander means so much to me; he's been so lonely since Anya left. He thinks I don't see, but I see fine... He's lost and he won't talk to me and he can't talk to Buffy or Giles and I love him so much. It was just a little spell. It wasn't supposed to do anything really... exactly... it was just supposed to give Fate a nudge, you know. I mean, why can't Xander have someone? Someone good, someone who loves him and isn't ashamed of him like Cordy, and doesn't try to kill him like Faith and doesn't just take the orgasms and run like Anya. It was just a folk charm. Something to help him find the right lover. Okay, maybe I made a teeny substitution and maybe I used a bit too much-" Willow's babble-mode was not slowing or showing any signs of stopping.

"You lied to him. Why didn't you admit it? He has to be going out of his mind wondering why he suddenly... lost cohesion." Tara shook the hairbrush to emphasis her point.

"I know." Willow sighed and sat on the bed all her energy seeping away "It's just...Xander has a blind spot about magic. That whole demon-magnet thing, I told you about that right? Well, there was another time in high school, well, a couple actually, but the time every woman in Sunnydale including me, Buffy and Joyce was throwing herself at him like a big old skanky ho comes to mind. Lucky Dawn hadn't hit puberty at the time. I'm sorry I lied. I was afraid. Afraid he wouldn't forgive me. Do you forgive me?" Willow looked up and shamelessly made puppy eyes at her girlfriend.

"No." Tara said, firmly brandishing her brush.

"No?" Willow said in shock.

Tara sat down next to her and put her arm around Willow's shoulders. "This isn't something you can get out of by being ubercute. I will forgive you on three conditions."

"Three?" Willow looked over to see if Tara might relent then sighed. "What are they?"

"First, you promise to wait for Mr. Giles before fixing this. Second, you write out, right now, exactly what you did in making and executing the spell, including research sources, and substitutions. And last," Tara's tone softened, "tell Xander, both of him, the truth."

"You're right. I know you're right. I promise." Willow leaned her head on Tara's shoulder. She had never been able to lie as a child and was surprised how much better she felt after confessing.

"Are you going to call him now?" Tara murmured while brushing a kiss against the silky red hair.

"Over the phone? No. This is a conversation I'll have to come into bearing food." She got up and sat at her computer, and began to pull up her notes. "A lot of food." She sighed.

* * * * *

Back at Xander's place three bodies were pressed so tightly together it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. Well, one lacked a pulse and any body temperature, that kind of clued them into which one was Spike. Spike knew which one he was because he was the happy one in the middle. He lay on his side facing Xander. He kissed the boy breathless while a warm hand loosely pump his cock in time to his own strokes along the human's warm jutting flesh. Xander, the other Xander, was busy kissing his way down Spike's spine. Spike was surprised when the hot wet tongue started licking his puckered opening. He gasped into the kiss when Xander's slick finger penetrated him. The boy's startled gaze clouded quickly over with lust as he watched his double lean into kiss Spike.

Spike had worried when the clothes began to fly that once they were naked he wouldn't be able to tell them apart. But he still thought of one as the brightly clothed boy he had known for so long and the other sleek and stylishly new one as a man. That didn't change once they were tangled together. The boy was shy, as if fearing rejection; the man knew what he wanted and seemed confident he would get it. As the man slipped a third, well-lubricated finger inside him Spike felt the boy shoot hot come across his stomach. Xander leaned up to kiss him and when his double carefully removed his fingers the boy stroked the ridges which morphed on Spike's brow. The Xander in front of him waited until the Xander behind him had slowly seated his entire length inside Spike before he squirmed down to engulf the vampire's dripping cock in his hot, moist mouth.

The sex went on until both humans were dazed and spent. Even as they drowsed, lightly draped over his unbreathing body, Spike was amused by their tandem touches. Every time he was sure they had nodded off one would lazily lick or nibble on the nearest part of his body. Gradually, shared, disjointed phrases tickled his ear as they plotted in stereo how to keep him chained to their bed to fulfill all their fantasies. Had Xander remained in one body the delicious babble would have been a guilty, hidden, inner monologue; having it bantered about the bedroom was a rare and ego-stroking experience. Spike fell asleep with the sound of languid laughter and teasing whispers, like a cross between summer camp and a brothel.

* * * * *

Suave-Xander woke for the second morning in a row wrapped around another body. He lay quiet with his eyes closed, just enjoying the sensation. It was nice. A man could get used to this. That was the problem. He had gotten used to Anya being there, had even let his guard down enough to hope that she might always be there. She had left him. No, she had left both of them. Judging by the body temperature and breathing this was Sweet-Xander in his arms. He spared a thought for Spike and hoped the vampire hadn't left, there were still quite a few things that he and his other half had been wanting to try before fatigue over took them. There wasn't enough hours in the weekend for them all but with the motivation of a willing Spike they could cover an impressive number.

Sensing movement on the other side of the bed, Suave-Xander wondered how and when his double had switched places with the blond. Stretching, he prepared to calm Sweet-Xander down when he realized who he had been snuggling with. Opening his eyes, Suave-Xander was mesmerized by a wide, blinking pair of stunned blue orbs. Xander fell into the bluest blue he had ever seen. He wasn't sure how long he gazed into those eyes before he realized they were attached to a man. A man with honey blonde hair and the faintest dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose, barely visible against clear porcelain skin.

They were both pulled out of their rapt contemplation of each other by a threatening, all-too-near growl next to them. Pinning Sweet-Xander to the bed was a yellow-eyed, fanged, taloned, ridge-faced demon. Naked, it crouched possessively over the boy with its lethal hand resting over his heart. Its growls lowered in intensity as it cocked its head and sniffed tentatively in the direction of the stranger wrapped in Suave-Xander's arms. Sweet-Xander reached up tentatively to stroke the fierce-faced beast. "Spike?"

The vampire looked down and buried his face in the crook of the boy's neck, seeming to drink in his scent. He raised his head and sniffed in the direction of the others then lowered it again this time centering in on the boy's armpit and groin. Then he leaned across the bed and smelled Suave-Xander and the stranger. Suave-Xander pulled the stranger closer and said, "Spike?"

With a growl and in a blur to quick to follow, the beast grabbed the boy and pulled him into the darkest corner of the bedroom.

"Spike," Sweet-Xander began to softly stroke the white hair of the beast. "Be careful, you don't want to set off the chip."

"You okay, little brother?" Suave-Xander asked.

"It's Spike... ah... who's that?" Sweet-Xander nodded at the stranger, who, while still tucked into Suave-Xander's embrace, was now gently running his index finger over the pulse point at his wrist.

As Suave-Xander turned his questioning attention to the handsome young man, he looked up, blinked and said, "Oh! I'm Spike. Er... rather, part of Spike... William, if you will. I... this is a bit disorienting." His accent bore shades of Giles, which caused a guilty twitch in Suave-Xander's neither regions.

"William died one hundred and twenty years ago. It takes both of you to be Spike, you've just got different qualities of Spikeness..." Suave-Xander reasoned.

The soft-spoken, all-too-human Spike tried to pull away from the naked man who was embracing him, but was stopped by the voice from the corner, "...like I got the Xander tact gene." Sweet-Xander finished for his twin still curled in the arms of the snarling demon. "Cut him a break, he's us yesterday morning."

"Sorry." Suave-Xander whispered and nuzzled the neck of the blushing man. "Really. I got the inappropriate sense of humor."

"So if you're William," Sweet-Xander speculated from his corner. He had been pulled into the lap of the growling demon which was now mirroring Suave-Xander's attack on human-Spike. "I guess you're," he turned and pressed his forehead against the ridged brow, "The Bloody."

"I guess we both got that sense of humor." Suave-Xander amended.

William watched in fascination as the snarling beast rolled the laughing boy onto the floor. Sweet-Xander lay sprawled and breathless in front of the crouching predator, eyes shining. He made no attempt to protect his vulnerable stomach, neck and groin. After the boy caught his breath he said, "Oh come on! You liked that."

The demon morphed to a human face. Even without the fangs and ridges this one seemed deadly and volatile. The smile he offered the defenseless boy was cold and might have been in anticipation of messy mayhem. His voice was smoldering, silky and dark when Spike said, "Yeah, Pet." He stroked the exposed neck and stomach in a proprietary and predatory manner, "I liked it."

The boy rolled to his knees in a fluid motion and crawled toward the demon. "Oh, please. Talk more." He was rewarded with a rumbling laugh that spoke of wicked deeds and a plundering kiss.

William gasped, feeling breathless for the first time in lifetimes. He looked wide-eyed at Xander, the Xander next to him, currently rubbing his cock between his now human thighs, and tried to speak. Nothing came out and he tried again, only to have his mouth invaded while a large calloused hand snaked around to take the results of his watching his own double and the other Xander firmly in hand.

* * * * *

Later, in the bathroom, wrapped in a damp bath towel, the Spike who was human contemplated his reflection. As odd as it was seeing himself look back from the glass, it didn't come close to watching the strutting, cocksure version of him that had been prowling the darkened apartment for the last hour. So that was the picture he presented to the world. Not bad. Pretty much exactly the image he had crafted of the merciless, unrelenting killer. Too bad he was cowering in the bathroom. Xander, the Xander in who's arms he had woken up, was going out to get supplies. The Xanders weren't prepared to entertain a vampire for the weekend, let alone two unexpected guests and a vampire. Though Spike suspected the real reason, after watching the two Xander's clean out the kitchen like a plague of locusts, was that they were low on junk food. To be fair, he had liked the chocolate Zingers that the boy had fed him, a bite at the time. Batting those long lashes the boy had encouraged Spike to suck the cream off of his fingers. The man had looked on in fond amusement, both at the sight of him tasting-really tasting-chocolate after so long, and at the boy's shy flirtation. The other Spike had growled possessively and looked ready to pounce until the man had wrapped the demon in his arms and whispered quietly in his ear. Lacking his enhanced senses Spike had no idea what Xander had told his double but the demon had stilled instantly and become very attentive of his counterpart and strangely protective.

Emerging clean and refreshed from the bathroom Spike met Spike waiting for him outside the door. The demon morphed into his intensified game face and pressed the man back against the wall. He buried his face in his neck and his hands moved to search and lay claim to his slim muscular body. The bath towel dropped from his waist to the floor. "I... I beg your pardon but have you gone quite mad?" Spike asked himself.

"You're me," the vampire snarled. Spike told himself he was not grateful he was chipped and that he hadn't just felt a rush of terror from being mauled by himself.

"Exactly, you moron. While it is one thing to toss off in the crypt it is an entirely different matter to be groped by myself before I've had a chance to get dressed." Spike tried to glare menacingly at himself but it was impossible while light fingers and dark laughter ghosted along his naked skin.

"Can I play?" The boy bounced up. "Or take pictures? Oh, shit. Xander! Do we still have the Polaroid? Get film. Lots of film!" After hollering out to his double Xander looked sheepish as human-Spike shook his head in fond indulgence and demon-Spike leered and pulled him closer to both of them. "What? Oh, like you weren't thinking the same thing."

Spike found it disturbing how well this wide-eyed innocent Xander seemed to get on with the most dangerous aspect of himself.

"How much do you think we'll need?" Xander asked, coming into the room. He stopped and watched himself pressed between the two Spikes. He blinked, swallowed and tried to speak. He shook his head and said "I should go to the Sam's Club, I think they sell it by the gross."

Human-Spike held out a hand and when Xander took it pulled him into the group hug. The group had too many evil members for the hug to remain just a hug and soon it was impossible to tell whose hands were where. Human-Spike was subtly trying to divest a Xander, it was hard to tell which one, of his draw string pants when the doorbell rang.

After a four-way 'argh' one of the Xanders went to answer the door, while the other tried to dress the Spikes, or at least cover the naughty bits before the door-answering Xander let anyone in.

* * * * *

Willow and Tara had been almost invisible behind the many bags they bore. Sweet-Xander was bouncing excitedly and exclaiming over each treasure he discovered. Not only did she bring all their favorite junk food but the girls had stopped by the Greek bakery and the candy shop. Willow was watching the Sweet-Xander like she had a lot riding on this, while Suave-Xander crossed his arms and waited for the other shoe to drop.

Willow looked over at him, nervously biting her lip. Her eyes brimmed with tears and Xander regretted his menacing posture. He almost forgave her right then and there before she even confessed. If it had just been him and Xander - like yesterday he would not only have forgiven her but thanked her. He adored his new found brother, even if he only got to keep him for the weekend. But the thought of what, or rather whom-or was that 'whom's'?-that was hiding in the bedroom stopped him.

"Spill, Will." Suave-Xander said.

"Hey, you rhymed." Sweet-Xander laughed opening the bag of jelly babies Willow had bought at the import store.

"Xand." He softly reclaimed his double's attention. "Willow knows why we split."

Sweet-Xander's face was stunned confusion, followed quickly by doubt and then he quite quietly began to cry. Suave-Xander instantly gathered him into his arms gently rocking him and whispering 'sshh' and 'it'll be okay' over and over. Willow started to cry. Suave-Xander was reminded of how often she had done that when they were kids. It was like they were wired together. Any time he cried the tears also started to come from her eyes. That more than any admonishments from his father to 'be a man' had made him learn to control his tears -he had never been able to stand to see Willow cry.

"She lied to us." Sweet-Xander whispered in shock and disbelief.

"She's sorry," Suave-Xander said and watched as his twin peeked out at their best friend. Willow wrung her hands and confessed to everything. In one continuous sentence she not only detailed why she had done the spell, how much she loved him, what she thought had gone wrong and how she thought it could be put right-but also every less than aboveboard thought or action she had had or done since they were six.

Suave-Xander got up and left Sweet-Xander to comfort the tiny witch. He went into the bed room and slid his hand around vampire-Spike's waist. "You heard?"

"Enlighten those of us without the demon senses," the other Spike asked. He wore a dark blue pair of Xander's drawstring pants and a light blue sweater that had never looked that good on Xander. Having split while naked had left the Spikes arguing which one would get their trademark ensemble. The fangs had settled that debate, but human-Spike seemed to be holding his own in the sarcasm department.

"Willow's here. Guess." Xander tightened his hold on the demon fearing he would overreact.

"Bloody Hell!" Human-Spike stalked out of the room, slamming the door. Xander tried to follow but Spike reversed their positions in the blink of an eye.

"Let go."

"He won't hurt her. Come on, Pet, let's shag." Spike pushed him forward.

"No! Think! The chip!" Xander struggled, to no avail, so he decide to use reason. "Spike, Walsh designed that chip for a vampire. If it goes off in a human brain you could end up dead or a vegetable! Remember what I told you; if he dies, you die."

"Bloody Hell!" Spike bolted from the room.

* * * * *

It took two Xanders, a witch and a Slayer to calm down human-Spike. After demon-Spike had determined that his double was just going to rip the witch apart with his tongue he had settled back to watch the show. Buffy had come by due to Willow's earlier call saying she wanted to talk and to meet her at Xander's. When the smirking Spike answered the door she walked into the explosive atmosphere wondering who the young man with the gorgeous accent was who was yelling at Willow. She was relieved that she hadn't voiced the question quite that way when Spike replied, "Look closer, Slayer."

It was Spike. Giles-speaking, lightly flushed, oh my God, his-eyes-really-are-that-blue Spike. Pissed off Spike. Incredibly human Spike. So why was one of the Xanders stroking his hair while the other rocked the tearfully apologetic Willow? "How was I to know this would happen?" she wailed. "I cast the spell on a sachet. I tucked it between your mattress and box springs. You had to pick last night of all nights..."

The Spike-like Spike snickered. Xander, the Willow-comforting Xander said, "You couldn't know...I...please Will, don't cry."

The Spike-wrapping Xander said, "Of course you're angry, that's normal, just be careful, remember the chip."

"Didn't bring any blood with you, did you, Slayer?" Spike asked.

"Spike, how did this happen? I think I get Xander's split but if Willow cast the spell on his bed how did you..." She looked adorably confused and Spike contemplated drawing this out.

It was his double's Xander, who by now had pulled his frustrated human counterpart into his arms and was rocking him in a gentle side to side manner, that drawled, "Oh come on, Buff, you're not a natural blonde-you can figure this one out." Buffy cocked her head and put one and one together and came up orgy. "But there were already two of you last night..."

The boy snickered. The other Spike turned in Xander's arms and added, "Actually, there were three of us last night."

"And four of us this morning." Spike leered at the stunned Slayer.

"How come?" The boy asked, finally giving the tear-streaked witch to her girlfriend and bouncing over to Spike. "How come there were only four of us and not six of us this morning?"

"It's not a bleeding photocopier, Xander." Spike morphed to game face, pulled the boy close and began to tickle him. He had found this the best method of torture for the boy and it didn't set of the chip. He felt all eyes in the room riveted to the sight of the breathless boy pleading for him to stop. Just before Xander's gasping laughs turned to tears Spike pulled the boy against him and purred. Buffy gaped. She stood first watching human-Spike close his eyes and lean his head back onto the broad shoulder of her friend. Xander tightened his arms about the honey blonde man whispered in his ear. Then she look toward the other Xander who, at the moment, probably couldn't stand without Spike holding him up. Holding Xander against him while the vampire purred and licked the boy's neck. She shook herself and asked Willow, "Are you sure it won't? Split them more?"

"It should be safe. It didn't work that way on Xander." The red-head looked defeated. Tara held her hand and stroked her arm.

"So, what, we just leave them like this until Giles gets back?" Buffy shook her head, not liking the non-slayage solution. Willow shrugged and the girls turned their attention back to the males.

"We'll be fine." Suave-Xander said, "Have a lot to do, just need to make a blood run and then we'll be MST3King the rest of the weekend."

"Xander, Spike...er Xanders and Spikes, not to go all Slayer on you but it is really too dangerous for any of you to just be roaming around. You should stay here until Giles comes back."

"We appreciate the concern, Buff, really but we need some stuff." Suave-Xander said.

"I'll get it." Buffy said firmly. "Come on, Xand, this is serious. Giles will be back soon."

"Well, we need blood." Suave-Xander said.

"And lube." Spike leered, finally lifting his face from the boy's neck.

"And ice cream." Sweet-Xander added.

"I would like a pair of trousers, that fit." Human-Spike spoke to the Slayer directly for the first time. She stood studying him long enough for Suave-Xander to say, "Trust me, you won't need pants."

"TMI," Buffy said, rounding up the witches and herding them toward the door. "I'll put the stuff outside the door, ring the bell, and run."

As soon as the door closed Spike said, "Think she'll really buy the lube?"

"We should have asked for condoms," Suave-Xander snickered. Human-Spike turned in his arms and regarded him suspiciously.

"What?" Suave-Xander said. "You think if the positions were reversed that she wouldn't have sent us for feminine hygiene products?"

After the Slayer left, the naughty boys first plundered the goodies Willow had brought, and then, turning like a hungry pack, pounced upon the bored-looking vampire who had been watching them eat. The Spikes had suffered a moment of panic when Human-Spike's stomach made a noise like a charging rhino, but were calmed by the Xanders' desire to share all their favorite flavors with the new human. Once the Xanders were sure that Human-Spike had had a taste of everything, they tackled Vampire-Spike before he made it out of the kitchen. Both Xanders were very careful when romping with Human-Spike so as not to set off his chip, but Vampire-Spike wasn't nearly as cautious with his counterpart. With a growl he rolled the honey blonde version of himself away from the Xanders and pinned his squirming double on the hard linoleum floor.

With a look and a nod the Xanders formed a plan. Sweet-Xander got up and started to root through the refrigerator; Suave-Xander crawled over to the game-faced vampire. Using the half-remembered body language of the hyena, he showed submission, and that he had no intention of trying to take the warm human prize from the demon, by keeping his head lower than the growling vampire's. Suave-Xander brought his face low, near Vampire-Spike's chest and turned it up to lick along his chin and mouth.

"What are you up to, Pet?" the demon asked.

Suave-Xander slid between Human-Spike and the wall and pulled the man on top of him. "The floor is hard, Spike. I'm just going to keep him warm and comfortable," Suave-Xander said and positioned Human-Spike flush against his body. He hooked their long legs together and spread them wide while simultaneously pushing the borrowed, over-sized, drawstring pants down over Spike's slender hips.

Sweet-Xander bounded over like a puppy and plopped down next to the human pretzel. He held an open tub of Cool-whip toward Vampire-Spike and said, "This is the best I could find."

""What the hell is that?"" the Spikes asked.

"Whipped cream," Sweet-Xander said. The vampire had dropped his game face at the sight of the Cool-Whip. Sweet-Xander brushed a tender kiss to Vampire-Spike's temple and murmured, "You can't take him dry, you'll hurt him, and we can't wait for Buffy to get back with the lube-frankly, I have doubts about her motivation."

Suave-Xander mirrored his twin's movement and nuzzled Human-Spike's temple while amending, "Technically it's whipped topping-I'm pretty sure it's not a dairy product."

"Oh, well, that makes it fine then!" Human-Spike snarked, still trying to close his legs now that his dangly bits were hanging in the wind. "Mhergallfee!" he hissed as Sweet-Xander began working the cold non-dairy topping into his warm, puckered opening.

He didn't stop his struggles until, amid the boy's giggles and his double's snickering he heard the man holding him whisper, "Come on, Spike, be good. Just enjoy this; I'll clean you up afterward with my tongue." It was too much-the man's strong arms holding him tight and safe, the boy's questing fingers slick and probing and the hot proprietary gaze of his double watching him be prepared-his cock sprang to attention. He relaxed into Xander's embrace and turned his head for a deep, long kiss. Soon one Xander's fingers were replaced by the other's.

Human-Spike watched as the boy licked his fingers clean before using both hands to remove the vampire's jeans. His double's only offer of assistance to the boy, who had stepped into the role of acolyte in the bizarre food related ritual, was to stand while the denim was wrestled down and off his body. Once Suave-Xander was satisfied he had worked enough whipped topping into Human-Spike's passage, his fingers began to make knowing crooks, searching for the spot, guided by the breathless noises the honey blonde made. Suave-Xander was enraptured by the look of wanton lust on Spike's flushed face.

Kneeling in front of the vampire, Sweet-Xander took shameless advantage of his position. Spike was momentarily blinded while he removed his tee shirt and the boy swooped forward and swallowed the vampire's cock. Spike howled and pumped into Xander's mouth. As abruptly as he had started, Sweet-Xander stopped, sitting back on his heels, giggling and shaking a squeeze bottle he had brought along with the whipped cream.

"What the hell is that?" Vampire-Spike was beginning to sense a common theme in this encounter.

"Smucker's Three Musketeers Sundae Syrup." The boy bounced in place, looking up with an excited smile. He positioned the tip of the bottle at the base of the vampire's erection.

"What do you think you're gonna do with it?" Vampire-Spike asked sinking to his suddenly weak knees.

The Xander currently finger fucking his double pulled his attention away from biting that one's all-too-human earlobe long enough to snicker at the demon. The boy brandishing the chocolaty syrup thrust out his bottom lip and wheedled, "Come on you big bad baby, I'll make the same deal as Xander and Spike have. I'll lick you clean after."

The vampire didn't know he had agreed until the cold, thick syrup was squeezed out onto his cock from the base to tip. In one smooth movement the Xander holding his double removed his cream-covered fingers and the Xander smearing the chocolate syrup topping over his cock guided it into Spike's double's slick passageway.

The heat was a surprise. He knew that this him was human; he had pushed him against the wall and listened to the blood moving and the heart beating in his body. But now as he leaned over the human version of himself and felt the tight warm flesh contracting around his cock it finally seemed real. This is what he had looked like before he died. The short gasping breaths, the dilated blue eyes, the golden hair spilling back contrasted beautifully against Xander's thick brown hair and dark eyes. But his human self wasn't William. Or rather, his human self was no more the William he had been before death than Spike was. So much made sense now.

Spike had spent much of last night's sexcapades in rapt enjoyment but part of his mind had been dedicated to wondering about the Xander twins. They had shared his body like children with a new toy but had shown no sign of jealousy or possessiveness. He had figured it meant he was just a sex toy, not worth fighting for-how wrong he had been. Now he knew. Knew how they finished each other's sentences and why they were so willing to let the other try whatever came into his head. They were the same person. What one liked the other did. Just like he and the warm human doppelganger he was slowly thrusting into.

This was him. This was someone who had been with him through it all. When Angelus abandoned them, when Dru had turned her back, even when Buffy had said he was beneath her. This, this one had shared every heartache, every bottle of Jack, every bruise, every desire to walk into the sun. Damn chip-damn Slayer-damn Sire, he slowed his thrusts, spreading his legs, practically standing to get the right angle. He was relieved that there was a Xander cushioning the strokes into the human. Both of Suave-Xander's hands were firmly gripped on his double's firm thighs, lifting and spreading his entrance. Spike morphed to game face and braced both of his hands on the wall to either side of Suave-Xander's head. When they were reintergrated, he would have it all-the memory of fucking and the memory of being fucked. Just like Xander would have the memory of every experience either twin had with Spike, before and after he had split. Entranced by the sheer pleasure on the man's face, Spike reveled in the hot breath of his counterpart gasping out each time he pushed in.

The whipped cream and chocolate sauce were being churned into a sticky mess and now coated the stomachs, cocks and balls of both Spikes. Sweet-Xander, not having received even a half share of the limited Xander-patience trait, maneuvered around the vampire. He began working his way down from Spike's tail bone until he was making tiny kitten licks along the back of Spike's dripping nads.

"Xander!" the vampire shouted.

"Oi, you're fucking me. Can you at least pay attention here?" Human-Spike grabbed two handfuls of the vampire's hair and pulled him down to glare eye to eye. Human-Spike's Xander cushion dissolved into a wicked throaty laugh, which set off a giggle fit in the Xander between Vampire-Spike's thighs.

"He's sucking my stones. I'm bit distracted. Anyway, what are you complaining about?" What had started out as a fierce response ended with a laughing smirk. The vibrations from the boy's giggles and the wonderful connection he felt with the blue-eyed man he was driving into sent him over the edge. Human-Spike couldn't maintain his glare and arched into the orgasm which seemed to move between them in a wave.

* * * * *

The Xanders admitted that cleaning up the kitchen wasn't nearly as much fun as cleaning up the Spikes. Buffy came through with the blood and ice cream but had drawn the line at buying lube or searching through Spike's crypt for a change of clothes. Willow, however, left a note apologizing again with a sealed box containing three flavors of lube -strawberry, watermelon and banana-not before the Spike sundae-along with a six pack of film for Xander's Polaroid. There was a reason she was his best friend.

Shortly after Buffy had, as she said she would, rung the doorbell and run, the Xanders tossed a coin to see who would go to work in the morning. Suave-Xander threw the coin toss. He adored his happy, bouncing other half but figured that if he wanted to keep his job he should leave Sweet-Xander home to continue the food products verses lube experiments. Just as the four of them were settling down to watch 'Evil Dead I and II' to argue about whether a bigger budget made the same movie any scarier, Human-Spike looked decidedly unwell. The noise in his stomach was back and it was getting closer. A frightened look of confusion crossed his face and he bolted to the bathroom.

Suave-Xander followed and, assuming the role of the good boyfriend, Boyfriend! Where the hell did that come from? brushed back his hair and gave him a cold damp cloth to wipe his face. When Spike finished praying to the porcelain god, Xander pulled him into his lap. They sat quietly on the floor of the bathroom, Xander stroking the sweat-damp hair off of Spike's clammy face.

"Well. That was humiliating," Spike whispered.

"Been there. It's not pleasant, finally being old enough to have to admit that there is such thing as too much of a good thing." Xander gave him a tired smile and softly kissed his temple. "Our fault, we should take better care of you-not like you've been doing the whole fuel and maintenance thing on this classic machine of yours." Xander gently poked his stomach and was pleased to see that this Spike had a ticklish streak.

"I'm over one hundred and twenty years old, Xander, I don't need someone to take care of me." Spike's protest lacked the energy of his usual snarky response and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"Everyone needs taken care of once in a while. Here's a thought-how 'bout I make you a cup of tea while you take a bath. Trust me, a nice soak will make the world seem a lot friendlier. I think I have some herbal stuff Willow gave me especially for stomach aches."

Since Xander had started running the water for the bath it didn't look like he would take no for an answer. Truth was, the vomiting had left Spike feeling weak and rather wrung out. Before he knew it Xander had peeled of the third set of clothes he had borrowed that day and had him comfortably resting in the tub. Spike had fallen into a light doze when the smell of mint awoke him. Xander had set the cup on the edge of the tub and was setting out thick towels and a robe. He turned and smiled. "Sleeping Beauty, feeling any better?"

"Yeah, thanks," Spike lied. He felt human and he was beginning to remember how bad that had felt. It wasn't just that they were blind, deaf and weak, they were slaves to this fragile shell they were trapped in. He had thought Xander would leave, but the man sat on the edge of the tub and handed him the cup.

"Drink." Xander used shower gel and a rough wash cloth to make a thick lather, then he meticulously washed every inch of Spike. Xander took off his shirt and set the cup aside before telling Spike to close his eyes, and with equal thoroughness he lathered Spike's honey-blond hair with strong calloused hands. After carefully rinsing the blonde Xander helped Spike to stand. Once he was out of the tub and standing on a fresh towel lain down for a rug, Xander dried him from head to toe.

All this had been done in companionable silence. When Xander wrapped him in a fluffy robe and started toweling his hair dry, Spike tried to speak. Nothing came out. It was just as well; he had no idea what he had been going to say. 'Thanks' didn't seem enough-this went beyond hospitality to a one night stand that had been held over on account of magic. So he kissed him. A closed-mouth, reverent kiss that spoke of tenderness and longing. Xander smiled.

"I have work in the morning. I was gonna go to bed soon anyhow. Can't promise you up-all-night sex, but how 'bout we just snuggle up together and let the kids out on the couch store up the memories of the sexual Olympics, hum?" Xander asked. Strong hands held him up; not a hug, just holding him. It was a good thing too. After the bath and everything before it, he was tired. Spike didn't remember ever being tired. As a vampire he had had reserves of strength, and it had only been since the chip had inhibited his feeding that he had stopped healing so quickly. Sleep was how humans healed.

A nod and a smile was enough to get the man who had taken such good care of him to guide him to bed. It felt so good to lay down-to lay down with Xander. Spike's last thought before falling asleep was wondering how all four of them would fit into the bed.

* * * * *

Suave-Xander was shaving when the honey blonde brought him a mug of hotchocolate in the bathroom. Spike gave a graceful shrug and said, "You don't have coffee and I've never seen you drink tea."

"I don't believe in eating or drinking anything you have to acquire a taste for. Who thought that up? If it doesn't taste good on your first try, try it again until you're desensitized to how bad it is?" Xander kissed his thanks and tried to resume shaving. Whether it was juggling the razor and the cup, or the quiet contemplative stare of Spike, looking human and delicious, something distracted him enough to nick his jaw. He cleaned off the shaving gel and blotted the cut, to no avail.

"It's still bleeding," Spike volunteered when Xander reached for his tee shirt. The blonde backed Xander up against the sink. He stood on tip toe to first kiss and then suck the tiny wound. Xander felt the fabric of the loose pants Spike had been wearing whoosh against his jeans as they slipped off Spike's slim hips.

"Spiiike," Xander moaned. "You're gonna make sure I'm late for work, aren't you?" Xander gently tugged on the blonde's jutting erection.

The bathroom door opened and the vampire entered in game face. "I smell blood."

"I'm doomed. Guys, I really like this job." Xander said. Xander felt one set of lips replaced by another, but there was a world of difference. Warm tingles spread straight from the cut to his cock and then out through the rest of his body. His knees went weak and his hand mindlessly pumped Human-Spike's erection-which convulsed and sprayed the mirror that was still reflecting only the two of them.

Vampire-Spike pulled back and looked into Xander's heavy-lidded eyes, "You are moist and delicious, Pet."

"He's a nummy treat," Human-Spike added.

"Just what the hell did you think you were doing?" Vampire-Spike asked his double.

"I thought I could stop the bleeding... I forget sometimes that I'm not... that I'm..." He sighed and stuck out his bottom lip.

Suave-Xander reached out to stroke back the silky hair. "It's okay, Spike. Giles'll be back tonight."

Vampire-Spike spotted the blood still at the corner of his double's mouth and plundered the pout for any traces of Xander's rich blood.

"I beg your pardon!" Human-Spike pushed firmly but unsuccessfully on his double's chest.

"S'not like you need it." Vampire-Spike stalked out of the bathroom, leaving the door open. The other two watched as the vampire crawled back into bed next to the sleeping Xander and pulled the boy on top of him like a blanket. Sweet-Xander blinked at his new bed, blinked at the light from the bathroom and then buried his face in Spike's armpit.

Suave-Xander finally managed to leave. No easy task since Human-Spike had given up on the too-large pants and walked him to the door naked. At work, he found keeping all his limbs no easy task either when his mind kept wandering back home and mentally calculating how much sex they could squeeze in before Giles' plane got in at nine.

However, it was a horrific homecoming. The apartment looked like a cross between a fraternity house and a murder scene. Amid the chaos of food and clothes was a pacing, snarling vampire-and no one else.

"Spike?" Xander surveyed the damage while taking off his work shirt. "What..."

"They went out. Two hours ago- said they were just going to get himself a pair of pants. I trusted them. What was I thinking? He's evil-just because he's human doesn't mean he's not me." Spike lit up a cigarette and resumed his pacing.

"Calm down. Have some blood. Two hours isn't that long-it's still daylight..." Xander started picking up the empty pizza boxes and other trash.

"Don't say that. This is Sunnyhell, remember. He's human and out with the demon magnet..." The vampire flashed in and out of game face.

"Hey! Not a demon magnet!" Suave-Xander got right back into the face of the cranky demon he was sleeping with, thought about it, and started to laugh. Which did not calm Spike down. Xander would have gotten it, he thought, then thought about that and laughed again. It had been a long day. He missed his double and wondered, not for the first time, if the constant need to touch and hug Sweet-Xander were his body's way of trying to reintegrate them. "Did they ... no, I had it." He unpocketed the cellular and checked to see if there were any messages from himself. There wasn't but there was one from Buffy saying Willow had called Wesley and he was sending a book up from LA. It seemed the spell she had cast was based upon notes she had taken from a book she had borrowed from Wesley in high school. Things were becoming less and less reassuring.

Suave-Xander placed both hands on Spike's shoulders. This was not a Spike who would let him cuddle, but this one obviously was climbing the walls, being trapped inside with his most vulnerable half out in the sunlight. "Listen, you wait here in case they call or come home. I'm sure they'll be back. If they're not here by sunset leave a note and meet me at the Magic Box. I'll go out now and check the mall and the arcades. I know all the places Xander would take him, okay?"

"It'll have to be, won't it?" Spike ground out through clenched teeth.

"You have my number?" Xander asked, and then wrote it down just in case.

* * * * *

At sunset Xander called the magic shop. Tara answered and he asked if he was there. She giggled. Then after she thought about it she asked, "Aren't you together? I mean not together together but with each other?"

"Xander took Spike out shopping today and they haven't come home. Is Spike there...ah, the other Spike?" he said.

"No. Is he supposed to be?" she asked.

"We were going to meet there when the sun went down, but I had a thought..." Xander didn't get a chance to finish.

"Where the hell are you?" Spike growled, suddenly replacing Tara on the other end.

"I think my mistake was thinking like Xander, when I should have been thinking like Spike. I'm gonna see if they're at Willie's, " Xander said.

"They're stupid, not suicidal, and you're not going in there by yourself," Spike snarled.

"Well, there aren't many bars I can think of that would serve a human looking as young as Spike does without ID." Xander thought about his brief stint as a bartender. "Wait, I've got an idea. Meet me at Buffy's dorm."

"I'm on my way." Spike disconnected the call.

* * * * *

The campus bars didn't pan out although Xander made a mental note that asking really drunk girls if they had seen him earlier seemed to be working as a pick up line. As a last resort they went to Willie's. Suave-Xander felt a bit like an old western gunslinger when he walked into the bar with Spike. Silence descended at the sight of the bleached blonde. Xander had been there before with Buffy, but it had never been this crowded.

The little man behind the bar said, "Spike, you look more like yourself. Did your pretty pet talk you into taking your old look back?"

Spike snarled, but before he could say anything Xander reached across the bar and grabbed Willie by the collar. He hauled the snitch over the bar with both hands fisted into his shirt and punctuated each question by smacking Willie's head against the bar. "When were we here? When did we leave? Where did we go?"

"Xander!" Buffy ran over from the door to rescue the bartender. Angel followed in her wake.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Spike asked Buffy while growling at Angel.

"Deadboy? What brings you to the Club Med of the undead?" Xander left Buffy to interrogate Willie.

"Willow called Wesley asking for a book. Wes said it sounded important so I brought it." Angel glared at Spike while keeping an eye on Buffy and the snitch. "I should have known you were involved. What have you done?"

"Back off, Deadboy, there's more involved than your wounded ego," Xander grated out while leveling a homicidal glare at Angel

"Ego? He shoved hot pokers though me. And could you not call me that?" Angel was now devoting all of his attention to Spike and Xander.

"Well, you look fine now. If he had really wanted to hurt you he would have shaved your head," Xander said.

Buffy interrupted their reunion and said, "He swears he didn't serve them."

"Willie? What do I owe you for the drinks?" Spike drawled.

"Twenty bucks... oh shit." The little man bolted out the back. Since the bar had begun to empty at the sight of the Slayer, there really wasn't any reason to stay.

"So where to now?" Buffy asked.

Xander frowned down at the floor then looked at Spike. "You really want to drink, but you can't stay here. Where do you go?"

"Huh?" The blonde stopped glaring at his Sire and looked at Xander like he thought maybe he had switched Xanders at some point.

Smack. Xander hit Spike in the center of his forehead with the palm of his hand. "You. Really. Want. To. Drink. But. You. Can't. Stay. Here. Where. Do. You. Go. Question mark."

"I got hooch in the crypt," Spike answered without thinking. Then he thought.

""The crypt."" Spike and Xander bolted toward the door.

Buffy and Angel followed, asking what was happening. The four of them jogged toward the cemetery.

"Stupid bloody tosser," Spike ranted.

"Who are you calling stupid?" Xander glared without slowing down.

"Both of them." Spike growled as the entered the cemetery.

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "We should have probably checked to see who got the sense of self preservation."

The crypt showed signs of Human-Spike and Sweet-Xander drinking and playing dress up. Clothes were strewn everywhere. Some were new with tags still attached, some were dated and had been down in Spike's storage crates and one set was what Sweet-Xander had been wearing when they went shopping. The crypt smelled of sex and whiskey. Angel's nose twitched and he started to ask a question but Buff cut him off with a brusque, "You don't want to know."

They went back outside and started to fan out but Spike grabbed Xander by the collar and said, "Oi, stay with me, you're human."

"I've always been human, you big doof. You're the one we have to worry about. You think... er he thinks... that... You're the one who isn't used to being human." Xander pulled free.

"Huh?" Angel said.

"What's that noise?" Buffy asked.

"Someone's hurt, maybe dying," Angel speculated.

As a group they cautiously approached the loud singing-maybe singing-coming from the top of one of the mausoleums. Sweet-Xander was naked, swinging an almost empty bottle of whiskey and singing "La Vida Loca". Suave-Xander groaned and buried his face in this hand. This was why he didn't drink-or go to karaoke bars. As his double serenaded the full moon Xander realized that although the lyrics were definitely "La Vida Loca" the tune was closer to "Pop Goes the Weasel". Buffy giggled and Vampire-Spike quickly scaled the small building. Angel gaped as he watch the drama between the second Xander and his Childe.

"What the hell are you doing?" Spike grabbed the boy and tossed the bottle. He held on to Sweet-Xander's hips and shook him. "Are you stupid or suicidal? Why not just yell 'Dinner!' you moron? You smell like blood."

Sweet-Xander shut up mid-note and thrust out his lower lip. He put a hand on the vampire's chest and started to speak, then looked thoughtful and returned to pouting. He swayed through all this and would have been on his ass if Spike wasn't holding him. Finally, holding up the arm not clutching the vampire he said, "I got an owie."

"How did that happen?" Spike asked, looking the boy over carefully to see if he was hurt anywhere else, but the thin red scrape from forearm to elbow, beaded with blood, was the only mark on him.

An inelegant shrug was Sweet-Xander's only reply and the vampire picked him up and jumped with him down to the ground. Buffy and Suave-Xander were searching the bushes and behind tombstones looking for the other Spike.

Angel said, "There are two of you."

"Didn't I mention that?" Buffy cocked her head and looked up at the tall, confused vampire.

"No. No, you didn't. Wes said Willow needed a book. You said you needed to find Xander and Spike. No one said anything about two Xanders," Angel said.

"Oh. Sorry. Spike, put some clothes on him." Buffy turned away, making sure that Suave-Xander noticed she was turning pointedly away from his drunken, naked double. He smiled and nodded thanks.

"You're going to die of lockjaw, you are. You humans are all fragile," Spike growled to the clinging boy and set him down, still holding on because he didn't seem steady on his feet.

"Please!" Suave Xander said, "As if with our lifestyle we don't have a tetanus shot every year."

"It hurts," Sweet-Xander pouted to Spike. "Kiss it better."

Spike didn't need to be asked twice and lifted the arm back up. He licked off the drying blood and began to suck at the long shallow wound. Sweet-Xander made happy noises and lay his head on the vampire's shoulder. "Ooooh, tingly," he said and leaned in to bite hard on Spike's neck. Vampire-Spike morphed into game face and made his own happy noises.

"Angel! Quit checking out Xander's ass and help Xander find Spike," Buffy said.

"Huh?" Angel whipped around but the Slayer had stalked off.

* * * * *

Vampire-Spike took Sweet-Xander back to the crypt to dress him. Suave-Xander looked around and started off, with Angel in tow, in the opposite direction that Buffy took. He could hear her calling, "Spiiiiike."

"Oh great, that'll work, unless someone's dog answers." Suave-Xander muttered to himself and was surprised to hear Angel chuckle.

"How did this happen?" Angel finally asked when it looked as if this quiet, confidant Xander wasn't going to volunteer the story.

"The short version? Willow loves me very much. The long? It's complicated." Xander seemed to know his way around the grave yard quite well and trotted over to a nearly buried crypt. Angel hung back when he heard someone with a heartbeat stumbling up the stairs.

"There you are. Dressed yourself, did you? Pet, one more bloody verse of that song and chip or no chip I was going to kill you myself." The man sounded familiar but Angel was unsure and waited while Xander saved him from tripping and caught him in his arms.

"Spike, are you all right?" As soon as the blonde nodded Xander yelled, "What the hell were you thinking?" He realized how much he sounded like Spike and laughed. "I was worried," he whispered and kissed the blonde, whose face had been shifting emotions with Xander's lightning mood swings.

Human-Spike cuddled into Xander and pulled his head down for a deep kiss. "Jesus, Spike, how much did you drink? You do realize you can die of alcohol poisoning now?"

The blonde pushed out his bottom lip, and said, "Didn't have that much, I'm sober."

"I can hear your brain cells dying." Suave-Xander made as if to steer Spike back toward his crypt when the blonde pulled away and stalked toward Angel. It wasn't quite his trademark prowl; although he had on the pornographically tight jeans and black tee shirt, he was wearing a pair of sneakers instead of his Docs and didn't have the duster to hide his slim frame. The weaving didn't help either.

"You! You poofed up nancyboy, what are you doing in my town?" Spike took a wide swing at Angel, missing by a mile. Xander rushed over to make sure he didn't dash his brains out on a tombstone.

"Spike?" Angel stood open-mouthed, looking at his human Childe. Spike struggled to be free and when Xander let him go, he barreled toward Angel. The vampire picked him up and studied his face. Holding Spike pressed back against a tree Angel studied his human face, lightly brushing his nose and cheeks with his fingertips.

"Back off, Deadboy!" Xander pulled ineffectually at Angel's arm. Spike was trying to shake them both off. He said through gritted teeth, "Back off now or I'll tell Buffy you made a pass at him."

"Xander! I...I'm not...he's human," Angel stammered out.

Looking at Spike, Xander said, "And he was the brains, right? How the hell did you stay alive...er, not dust for so long?"

Vampire-Spike came out of the shadows with Sweet-Xander wrapped in his arms, dressed and far more subdued. "Right. You found him, 'bout time. Slayer went to brief the Watcher. Let's head back."

"You're walking steadier, little brother," Suave-Xander said, taking advantage of Angel's distraction with his double to pull Human-Spike away and tuck him under his arm.

"I hurled," his double said sheepishly.

"Yeah, that'll do it." Suave-Xander offered him a smile. As the five of them left the cemetery he asked Vampire-Spike, "You think Giles will hold off on the integration until after the hangover?"


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